The Indie Neurosis

"Neurotic", or affected by neurosis, has come to describe a person with any degree of depression or anxiety, depressed feelings, lack of emotions, low self-confidence, and/or emotional instability.

“Indie”: […]A do-it-yourself sensibility, which originated with punk in the 1970s, is often associated with indie, with people in the scene being involved in bands, labels, nights and zines. Indie often has an internationalist outlook, which stems from a sense of solidarity with other fans, bands and labels in other countries who share one's particular sensibilities; small indie labels will often distribute records for similar labels from abroad, and indie bands will often go on self-funded tours of other cities and countries, where those in the local indie scenes will invariably help organize gigs and often provide accommodation and other support. In addition, there is also a strong sense of camaraderie that emerges from a selflessness among indie bands and often results in collaborations and joint tours.

That’s what Wikipedia says. Wikipedia never lies.

This morning I got a text from my friend S. S. thinks that Indie Neurosis appears to be a condition to be reckoned with. Sadly, she did not elaborate on this any further. But it got me thinking (oh no! there will be a diatribe!).

Firstly the Wikipedia definition of indie appears to be describing punk rather than indie. In the sense that I have not known the indie scene in the conventional sense to have a particularly international outlook. On the contrary, it seems cliquey and insular instead. Having booked bands from the US to play London with disastrous consequences, I really don’t see the international thing myself.

As for zines and DIY labels, well, zines seem to be dying out (thank you, internet …) and I can’t think of many labels that are truly DIY. There seems to be a connection to something bigger most of the time, whilst the DIY ones are dying a slow death because, sadly, they tend to ooze shitloads of money.

As for selflessness and camaraderie – not so sure about the selflessness, but there is some element of camaraderie, in that ‘I come to your gig if you bring twenty mates to mine’.

Still, all quite quaint and cliquey. So where does the neurosis kick in?

In secondary school, I suppose. If the music (and associated paraphernalia) you’re into doesn’t quite strike a chord with the mainstream, chances are you won’t have all that many friends. Music and scene-dom are big things when you’re 15. The few friends you have will soon help you ease into an ‘us vs. them’ mentality. Not necessarily a bad thing, but you may well find it’s suddenly ‘me and this seven inch single vs everyone else’ or ‘me and my fanzine vs the rest of the world’. And, let’s face it, there’s a lot of depressing indie records out there to help you on your way.

BUT!

I doubt very much the rise of depression in the indie community is anything to do with the music we listen to. I prefer to think that people who end up in the indie ghetto were a little strange to begin with. I mean, what sort of teen would actively shy away from the charts and the mainstream? Would actively shy away from those ghastly Chevignon and Replay! Jumpers (not sure what you UK people had at the time, but those brands were all the rage at my school)? I think that takes quite a bloodiminded attitude to start with. The pathological urge to be different (only that, let’s face it, if you’re stood with twenty people in exactly the same Oxfam outfits, you’re not that different. Beware the indie identikit, my friends). Or you were (like me) just a bit weird in the head in the first place. Like that woman in the Immodium advert, I woke up one morning. And I had a choice. Between Mark Owen and Damon Albarn. I chose wisely. I chose Blur.

And I suppose indie is more of a thinking person’s choice. A bit like those Guardian readers. If you’re thick as mud, you probably won’t like it. Sadly, with some level of intellect comes thinking. With thinking comes pondering. With pondering comes self-doubt. With self-doubt come the Manic Street Preachers (oh no!).

So you set off and make friends with other self-doubters. And end up with a whole bunch of people who’re not quite sure what to do with themselves either, unless it involves putting another seven inch on the record player and loosing themselves in a song. Which then leads to perpetual weirdness, fuelled by even more records. And having lots of records around will inevitably make you a little nerdy. And nerdiness leads to fast declining popularity levels within the rest of the world. Particularly, if you’re a girl, because girls aren’t meant to be nerdy.

Before I ramble on for too long ….

Indie Neurosis! People with existing neurotic tendencies that are then tripled by listening to records you really, really love.

Or maybe it doesn’t exist at all.