Friday 22 August 2008

Things nobody seems to ever teach you

Washing machines

Did anyone ever take you to one side and explained to you how to wash your clothes without help? Me neither. A whirlwind of trial and error followed. I was 17 and had just moved out from my parents with a friend. We had a washing machine and no idea what to do with it. We settled on ‘everything at 40’ in the end. I still wash everything at 40 – unless I am feeling daring and go for a boilwash. And then realise that yes, the colour of the red top still runs after ten years and I have grey underwear once again. Why is there no crash course for this sort of thing?

Dusting

I have never managed this successfully with a duster. All it seems to do is spread more dust around. This seems rather pointless.

Making beds

Now I know that in theory you kind of flatten or fold the duvet and stick the pillow somewhere at the top. Only to then unravel it all again when you want to go to sleep. What’s the point?

Bleeding radiators

It’s cold. The radiators don’t seem to work. There’s always a male friend helpfully advising you to ‘bleed the radiators’. How the hell does that work? What will I do with all this blood? Is the blood boiling? Is that how they keep warm?

Cleaning windows properly

Spraying on windowcleaner and then wiping the contraption does not seem to work. Windows are left streaky and look no different to how they looked before you got started. How are you supposed to do this?

Excel

I don’t know anyone who has ever been trained on Excel before they used it for the first time. My first time with Excel was at a temping agency interview and I made it up as I went along. Having spoken to quite a few other people, it seems we’re all in the same boat. Nobody actually has any idea what they’re doing.

Look interested

An important skill! But how? Think of something interesting and you will instantly look interested even if you’re not. That doesn’t quite seem to work. Why not have courses to prepare you for those dull parties and boring conversations you will be forced to have in later life?

6 comments:

6502 said...

I bled a radiator for the first time last week. It was very easy and I just followed instructions I got via googling.

The most important thing is to have a 'Radiator key'. There seems to be only one standard of this so you can't go wrong. They cost less than a pound each and they're sold in most hardware stores (I got mine from eBay). http://images.google.co.uk/images?q=radiator%20key
On one of the sides of every radiator will be a 'bleed valve' on the top. Look for a square nubbin-type thing! This will fit perfectly with the key.

Before you continue to do any actual bleeding you should check that the central-heating is turned off, or else you'll make the problem worse. Oh yeah and bring a cloth to catch drips!

Now, to really begin, stick the key into the valve and turn anti-clockwise half a turn. The water inside is already in pressure, and now should be pushing out the unwanted air and you'll hear a hissing noise. The air really stinks!

(For me, the air was coming out really slowly, so I found myself fully turning the key about 3 times and nudging the square thing a bit too).

Anyway, once water starts dribbling out of the valve, you'll know the all the air has been pushed out and it's time to tighten it up again. Unless you enjoy watching water dribble slowly out of the radiator. They say don't tighten it too much, but I don't know how much is too much!

It's rather pleasing because now my radiator makes far less crazy noises and the heat goes right to the top now, pretty good! The links I read are here:

http://www.ultimatehandyman.co.uk/bleeding_a_radiator.htm (has video)
http://www.diydata.com/problem/central_heating/bleed.php

6502 said...

Dusting:

Some dusters are better than others. The one I use seems to generate enough static for the dust to stick onto it.

The main thing is to have somewhere to empty the dust into. Preferably you'd empty it outside the room/house unless you enjoy sniffing dust.

What I do is:

#1 Dust dust dust.
#2 Whack the duster outside of the window to remove most of the collected dust.
#3 Go back to 1. (This cycle should repeat very often for optimal dusting bliss)

If you don't do #2 then yeah you're not going to get very far!

6502 said...

Cleaning windows properly:

Most products will leave streaks. You won't get any streaks if you use a squeegee and happen to also be a squeegee master.

Since I am not a squeegee master, I find cleaning windows to be a two-stage process:

1. Clean the window to remove the real gunk (hardened dust, bird poo, etc etc). After doing this, you will have streaks.

2. Remove the streaks by getting a kitchen towel or tissue paper and vigorously rubbing over them.

Don't wait too long between doing 1. and 2. because the streaks will harden and then you'll have to start again.

Quite often I don't give a shit about the streaks though, but there are those days where I feel it's worth it.

tomM said...

http://www.wikihow.com probably answers most of these queries!

i wash everything on 30, that way my clothes never run! also we're taught Excel from a very early age here in UK; my niece can use it, and she's only 12.

6502 said...

Making beds

I think the point is that it makes your room look generally neater. But if someone doesn't care about the room looking generally neater, then there is really no point!

For me it takes just 10 seconds to put my pillows on one side of the bed and then flick the whole duvet to be roughly flat.

6502 said...

Excel:

I wrote a whole bunch of stuff but decided not to say it anymore. Doing Excel is just doing programming, which is not something that most people care about in the first place!