Since I have been informed that I am a) clinically insane and b) against most things out of sheer bloodimindedness, maybe it is time to write a bit about things that are nice. Yike-di-Yikes. Niiiiiice things. Glass half FULL things. How very dull.
- The humble feline
A cat is a good thing. Always. For the cat does not do as it is told. The cat does not look to others for inspiration. The cat does its own thing. The cat is also a rather clean animal. If you pat a dog, your hand will smell of wet dog for hours afterwards, if you stroke a cat, it just smells rather pleasant. A cat’s face tells you much more than a dog’s face. The cat incorporates the ‘on a scale from one to ten’ into an array of emotions. Thus a cat can be ‘mildly pissed off’ or ‘rather a lot pissed off’ and you will be able to see the difference. Cats also look a lot nicer than dogs. And with a cat, you can always be sure it is indeed a cat. With dogs, one can’t be certain. Who would’ve thought that
- Aldi
When I found out Aldi was moving five minutes down the road from me, I counted down the days until opening. A month in advance. I was practically raised on Aldi stuff. I even have a cookbook dedicated to recipes made almost entirely (it does say to seek a ‘good butcher you trust’ for meat) from Aldi foods. That cookbook is entitled ‘Aldi-Dente’ and it’s bloody fantastic (only that it was published ten years ago and they don’t sell most of the stuff in it any more, but that’s by the by)! Aldi will sell you delicious filled pasta (gorgonzola and walnut? Salmon? Which would you like?) for next to nothing! And bizarre Pesto (I can highly recommend the Fennel and Pistachio variety!)! Then there is the special offers aisle! I actually sleep on Aldi mattresses that my mother lugged over on a plane. I shit you not. In the special offers aisle you might find anything from entire computers and thermal underwear to discolights and skiing goggles. Isn’t it amazing?
- Seven inch singles
I like these a lot. Especially the multicoloured variety. Bands these days really should put more effort into their vinyl pressing. I’d quite happily buy a shit single if it’s pink. My favourite ones are ‘that’ Disco Pistol single, the poobrown Purple Munkie single … and I like heavyweight vinyl, too. You can’t go wrong with a lovingly created cover either. Remember that hand spray-painted Designer single, anyone? The Bis singles with the stickers on them? FLEXIDISCS!!!! And it’s even better when you get fanzineflyers raining out of the sleeve! Sadly, HMV and Virgin (or whatever they are called now) don’t seem to cater for the vinyl-junkie any more. It’s mostly odd dance 12” contraptions and the odd haircut indie issue. The Rough Trade superstore seems to be the only place that actually bothers with a halfdecent vinyl selection. Although, they only seem to have stuff that’s under two years old. What happened to everything else? The Music Exchange is out, because they started treating their 7” singles rather poorly, so all you can find is a copy of some Spearmint single that some philistine rummager snapped in half! Shocking!
- He-Man and the Masters of the Universe
The pinnacle of my early childhood! Aren’t they just fantastic? I am very fond of the cartoons as well, especially the bit at the end where they always stand in a group, someone comes out with the moral upshot of the story (‘if you always eat your broccoli you’ll be just as strong as Man-At-Arms!’), just before Orko cracks a really lame joke and they laugh some more. You just don’t get that with Pokemon and Power Rangers. And Marshall Bravestar (whom I hold responsible for both the skinny new He-Man figures and the demise of Eternia that followed shortly after). I still have a collection of He-Man toys on my shelf. The rest of the stuff is at my sister’s house. Combined we have every single figure, all the castles and vehicles. Even Fakor! Yes, this may sound a bit nerdy but … Masters of the Universe are so cool!
- 80s kids films
You can NEVER go wrong with Ferris Bueller. If you haven’t seen it (damn you!), I highly recommend you obtain a copy right now. If you haven’t seen Ferris Bueller at least five times, you haven’t lived! I also urge you to see The Lost Boys (featuring Corey Feldman as a fearless vampire hunter and worth its weight in gold seven times over!), anything John Hughes did before Home Alone (stay away from Home Alone. It’s shit and 90s!), E.T. (everyone’s seen E.T., right?), Stand By Me (with a very young River Phoenix!), Momo (this is a bit more obscure. It’s based on a book written by the guy who wrote The Neverending Story) and, obviously, The Goonies. Up yours, Pirates of the fucking Carribean!
- Fanzines
He who throws a fanzine on the floor and steps on it shall be doomed. Fanzines are an excellent way to find new music. Sadly, the internet killed a lot of them. Which I don’t quite understand, because how is looking at a computer a substitute for holding a piece of A5 glory in your hands that someone lovingly photocopied and stapled? It doesn’t matter if the majority of reviews are about six months out of date, because that’s not the point. The point is that there is a great record out there and you urge people to listen to it. Doesn’t matter when it was released. Doesn’t matter if there are typos, doesn’t matter if half the bands you interviewed have since split up, or are yet to form a coherent group. Doesn’t matter that you photocopied half your layout from the NME and a 50s cookery book (or was that just me?). My fanzines led me to so many amazing things it’s almost painful. I got to interview quite a few bands (some more famous than others. Heck, I got to interview Gary Numan and accidentally met Robbie Williams. The latter was a bit of a disaster because I didn’t realise he was standing behind me when I was merrily slagging him off to his support band), I got an awful lot of promos and I met some truly lovely people when I was doing my zines. Most of them are still my friends.
3 comments:
Completely agree about cats, 80 films and he-man. Vinyl and fanzines were both too cliquey for me to get into. I was always intimated by anything that involved insider-knowledge passed from person to person.
Why does nobody else post comments? Makes me feel like a stalker!
And Tom is the only one who posts comments on my blog. But he doesn't post any here.
yes, why DOES nobody else post comments. stalker stalker stalker stalker staaaaalker :p (no actually, im glad at least one person reads my blog, actually!!).
fanzines can be cliquey but don't have to be. i think i did quite a good job with NOT being cliquey with my zines, because i really don't like cliques. music/indie cliques can be particularly hazardous because people often fall into the 'what, no sideparting?' trap, confuse music with Face magazine fashion and snub anyone who doesn't fit the fanzine identikit stereotype ... not so good!
I remember that Disco Pistol single in pink vinyl! I think i've still got it in the attic?
...what a great band! Did you ever see them play live?
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