Wednesday, 30 July 2008

Pick me up before you go go

Just when I thought I’d seen it all, I discover there is a whole weird new world out there. The people in it call themselves ‘pickup artists’. And yes, this is as bad as it sounds.

Successfully master meeting and attracting beautiful women.


The pickup artist, no matter how hideous they are, claims to be able to get any women he wants. Jolly good. And how exactly do they think this is going to happen? Oh sorry, I forgot. Women are but pretty creatures with peroxide for brains. You just need to find the on switch and the off switch and they’re all yours. They don’t think for themselves, have no taste and are just waiting for someone like you to pick them up. Sure thing, dude.

Now, I know people can be shy. And I know people can be clumsy. I also know some people find it very difficult to meet women and, like, talk to them. What I did not know is that it is now unacceptable to be a social retard. People like you or I shouldn’t even exist.

The pickup artist’s philosophy is based around the bizarre idea that all women are attracted to him. By default. Like these self-esteem tapes that tell you you’re beautiful, successful and everyone likes you.

What I can’t get my head round is why all women are supposedly attracted to these people. Correct me if I’m wrong, but when did chatup lines become fashionable again? Does anyone actually still collect girls’ numbers as a hobby/to get laid/show off their address book to their mates? Quantity is chosen over quality. Women have become phone numbers. And phone numbers collectable.

Pickup guru Craig Hendleman (who, incidentally, is an Essex lad) even goes as far as claiming that when it comes to women being attracted to men looks aren’t important. Whilst at the same time droning on about blondes, nice asses and supermodels. He gets to pick and choose. Girls are apparently too thick to notice and physical features of any male, as long as said male is buying into the pickup philosophy.

Common sense tells me that beauty does indeed lie in the eye of the beholder. Nobody needs to have a ‘type’ and I am certain most of what the media tell us is ‘beautiful’, the vast majority of people find pretty hideous. The pickup artist, however, is with the media on this one. Big tits! Cue ballscratching. Cue some male gorilla style bonding experiment. For peace and quiet’s sake/adding insult to injury, Hendleman actually goes as far as saying he was ‘with some very unattractive girls’. Yeah, and? You didn’t find them attractive, but there will be a number of people out there who find these ladies drop dead gorgeous.

Coming back to the shy types, the recluses, the geeks and the pathologically clumsy, pickup school is supposedly targeted at them. If I was a man, I would fall into all these categories. But I would also be quite happy with just the one girl. Not an array of shags and phone numbers. If someone happens to be on the introvert scale, revving them up and sending them out to streets and clubs armed with dodgy chatup lines won’t help them. They’ll be acting their socks off, but will no longer be who they are. There are so many different personalities and characters out there, why not find a girl with a personality to suit yours? Why pretend you are something you’re blatantly not? And how long can you keep up the pretence? What do you get out of the experiment? Oh yeah, phone numbers. And you might get laid by them. Well done you. But are you any closer to your quest of obtaining a girlfriend? The hell you are. Instead you treat women like pretty ornaments that had a lobotomy. Oh yes, that’ll get you real far in life. Everyone will take you ever so seriously.

And if someone walked up to me in the street telling me how amazing my legs were or if they could try my shoes on, rest assured my reaction will not be pretty.

7 comments:

tomM said...

ha, by complete coincidence, i just finished reading 'The Game' by Neil Strauss.

Its an account of how he went from nerdy ugly journalist to total babe magnet in a year after meeting and interviewing a famous pickup school teacher, and then enrolling on courses.

it's all based around physological tacticals of man/female binding; almost all pickup schools teach a variation of this:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mystery_Method

its a really enjoyable and funny book (for males and females), and i do believe it works, though not on all women of course (they have to be attracted to your looks too). but yeh i'd never do all those lame lines and chat to hundreds of women a night in the hope of getting a few numbers, cos it all seems a bit pathetic.

Richard said...

I read up on this years ago (and bought some books, although I didn't finish reading them). I find it disturbing but also fascinating. If it's true, it means that women have no real decision making ability and will just go for any man who knows the right neurological buttons to hit. Some men have an instinctive ability to hit the buttons, and some men have to spend years of trial-and-error developing pick-up strategies to get the same effect. In neither case does the actual merit and good character of the man as a mate have any role! So I could make myself the nicest guy and best lover in the world, but if I can't do the brainwashing tricks I'm going to lose out to some scumbag who can. Sadly this does feel like the truth.

I used to have several female friends and I thought of them as rational, real, decision making beings, and it bothered me that this implies they weren't. Of course it's possible that some women are rational and not susceptible, but the masters claim they can brainwash *any* woman. Same reason I find Derren Brown scary I suppose - cos it just *might* be true, and we might all be brainwashable robots.

Interestingly the masters who develop the techniques are quite obviously not looking for long term relationships. (They need to pull several girls a night just to practice their game!) But they then give seminars and write books for lesser men, and I suspect most of these actually want a long term girlfriend, and I wonder if the same techniques work for both.

Finally, the whole thing seems very American. I wasn't aware there were pick-up artists in Essex! (Chavs who think every woman loves them, yes, but not true artists dedicated to researching the science of pick-up like the masters in 'The Game'.) I recently tried to find a book about simply making conversation with people, and every single one was obviously written by an American and totally unsuitable for British social situations.

tomM said...

yup, i think The Game makes it clear that this is a technique useful for getting numbers/dates/laid ONLY.

it then almost never developes into proper relationships, because they guys have sort of faked the attraction, and the lines dry up it turns out theyre geeky losers who only really know about picking up women.

fengshite said...

well i reckon it stinks to high heaven that anyone would think they had to employ trickery and effectively lies to attract women. If someone likes you, they like you. If they don't like you, they still won't after playing mindgames with them. They might think they do, but it will not be real.

the word 'babe magnet' alone makesme want to stab myself in the eye. it's acceptable to be a man and a 'babe magnet', if a woman is surrounded by adoring blokes, she is instantly referred to as a slag. how is that fair?

Richard said...

That's easy for you to say - you're a member of the gender that never has to worry about finding a partner. (Assuming the pick up artists are correct) every man you ever fell in love with was 'playing mind games'. The only difference is they were very good at it, probably doing it instinctively, and you didn't catch them at it. So the guys who can't do it instinctively need to learn these techniques to compete with that.

I'm not convinced the pickup artists are completely correct, and sorry for being blunt, it just annoys me that women have no understanding of how much the entire system in the western world is setup to benefit them, and assume that it's as easy for men as it is for them.

tomM said...

If someone likes you, they like you. If they don't like you, they still won't after playing mindgames with them. They might think they do, but it will not be real.

I agree 100%. but at the same time, how do you know whether you like someone or not if you can't communicate with them effectively? alot of the PUA stuff is about how to approach and then talk to women, whilst at the same time being more confident in yourself. that stuff i see as benefical.

it's acceptable to be a man and a 'babe magnet', if a woman is surrounded by adoring blokes, she is instantly referred to as a slag. how is that fair?

i saw a standup comedian do a routine on the differnce between a 'stud' and 'slut'. basically he pointed out that being a stud is a badge of honour because it's difficult to achieve; you dont get any fat ugly studs. being a woman, you will automatically get hit on all the time, but being a "slut" just means you say yes to more of them than the average woman.

not saying i agree, but its something to think about!

That's easy for you to say - you're a member of the gender that never has to worry about finding a partner

not sure about this. women only really have an advantage in a random social club/bar environment. its meaningless; i dont see how the system is "biased" in a way that makes it easier for females to find a suitable longterm partner.

Sam said...

You know very very little about the pick up artist community! as one of the Official Essex lair, of which Craig isn't a member, i can tell you pretty much all of what you said is misguided